iJust wanna be PERFECT
by Silence-Psychikos
Summary: When Sam commits suicide, Carly is heartbroken and Freddie regrets it all... But when something weird happens to Freddie will something...come back to life? HIATUS!
1. i Am Heartbroken, Fading, Gone

She looked at herself in the mirror.

"Am I perfect yet?"

"Will he love me?"

"Am I beautiful yet?"

"Am I wanted, loved yet?"

"The mirror always shows you the truth!"

She looked around the room, her family was out.

She picked up the knife and pressed it to her arm.

"Just a few more drops will stop the pain."

Suddenly there was more blood then she'd thought flowing out of her arm.

Faces suddenly shot through her head:

Her family, her friends and HIM.

All she wanted to be was perfect, PERFECT for HIM.

Tears rolled out of her eyes as she collapsed onto the floor.

She saw a receipt and a pen near her,

and with all her strength she picked them both up and wrote:

"I am sorry = S"

Then she passed out.

They never made it back on time to save her.

She woke up in a white room,

watching them trying to save her.

Tears rolled down her cheek,

"Come, child," she heard a deep voice say,

"It's time to leave, to move on."

She nodded and looked back to direction her family was, crying over her dead body,

not realising her soul was still alive, watching them,

"I'll miss you all," she whispered softly.

She turned back to the shadow, and walked off.

She tried to be PERFECT, but being Perfect,

Can be perfect hell.


	2. iThought you didn't love me

**Ok Peanut Butter and Seddie asked me if this was a one-shot that's when I decided that I'm gonna make this longer!!  
Ok the rest is gonna be song-fic, sorta…  
BTW: I got this idea when my brother and I were watching:  
Over Her Dead Body.  
So yeah, ENJOY!!  
Disclaimer: What DO I own…?**

* * *

He hid under his bed sheets tears rolling down his face.

It's been four months since the she-devil passed;

it was really killing Freddie inside.

He remembered the last words he said to Sam,

before her family found her dead on their kitchen floor,

"I hate you."

He wished he never said that if he could go back in the past

and change those words he would make them,

"I love you."

Maybe then Carly wouldn't be heartbroken,

Sam would still be alive and

He wouldn't be depressed but that would never happen.

He remembered the first time he heard Sam sing:

At Carly's sweet sixteen karaoke party.

He closed his eyes;

He swore that he could hear her singing at that very moment: 

* * *

Lonesome stranger

_  
With a crowd around you_

_I see who you are_

_You joke they laugh_

_'Til the show is over_

_Then you fall so hard_

_If you're needin'_

_A soul to soul connection_

_I'll run to your side_

_When you're lost in the dark_

_When you're out in the cold_

_When you're lookin' for somethin' that resembles your soul_

_When the wind blows your house of cards_

_I'll be a home to your homeless heart_

_Open close me_

_Leave your secrets with me_

_I can ease your pain_

_And my arms will be_

_Just like walls around you_

_Calm and conquering_

_If you're runnin'_

_In the wrong direction_

_I will lead you back_

_When you're lost in the dark_

_When you're out in the cold_

_When you're lookin' for somethin' that resembles your soul_

_When the wind blows your house of cards_

_I'll be a home to your homeless heart_

_Broken_

_Shattered like a mirror in a million pieces_

_Sooner or later_

_You've got to find_

_Somethin' someone to find you and save you_

_When you're lost in the dark_

_When you're out in the cold_

_When you're lookin' for somethin' that resembles your soul_

_When the wind blows your house of cards_

_I'll be a home to your homeless heart_

_(When you're lost in the dark_

_When you're out in the cold)_

_When you're lookin' for somethin' that resembles your soul_

_When the wind blows your house of cards_

_I'll be a home to your homeless heart_

_I'll be a home to your homeless heart_

* * *

Wait a second, he wasn't just imagining things,

Sam was actually singing!

He slowly got up and walked hastily over to the window,

sure enough there was Sam sitting there on his fire escape.

"Sam?! Is that you?"

'Sam' twisted her head around,

"Y-y-you can see m-me?"

"Yeah, I can't believe it!! You're alive! You didn't die! I've got to tell Carly!"

"Wait Fredward, wait, Fredweena wait! Freddie stop!"

He turned around,

"You called me Freddie…"

"I'm dead, Freddie! Ok I died! I committed suicide! I DIED FOUR MONTHS ALRIGHT, do you understand?!"

"B-but, h-how y-you're r-right h-he…"

"I'm a ghost! I have unfinished business!" she interrupted him.

She sighed,

"Why did I even kill myself…?"

A single tear rolled down her pale cheek,

He lifted up his hand and wiped it away, her cheek was so cold.

"Why did you die, Sam, people-people loved you."

"I died because…" she trailed off.

"Why, Sam, Why?!" he demanded.

"Because you didn't love me!"


	3. iMust keep holding on

**Ok someone asked me if Freddie is going to fall in love with Carly.**

NOT IN THIS STORY, I WILL DIE IF CREDDIE TAKES OVER THIS WORLD!! KILL ME!! (ok breathe, breathe…)

**Anyway now that's out of the way, 9 reviews?!!? OMG!! I am shocked!! Thank you soooooooo much!! I love you all!!**

* * *

Now I will write the rest of this story in Sam's POV but sometimes Freddie or Carly where noted.

I looked at Freddie with sad eyes,

"What are you talking about, Sam? I love you and Carly the most in my life!"

I smiled because he said he loved me but I gave up because he loved Carly.

"Do you think-" I asked, "That anybody else can see me?"

"Nah, I'm part psychic so forget it!"

I choked on a gasp,

"You-you're part psychic?"

"Why do you think my mom is crazy?! She sees ghosts all the time!"

"But you're only part psychic, how does it work?!"

He looked at me with a thoughtful look on his face,

"My mom can see all ghosts, and I can only see ghosts of passed on loved ones."

I smiled and blushed,

"I'm a loved one?"

I saw him blush then gulp,

"Y-yeah you're a loved one."

Everything was silent for a few seconds,

then Freddie spoke to me softly,

"I should get going, Carly is having a mourning night for you."

"Oh ok then, bye."

He got up but then looked at me,

"Are you coming? I think there's anywhere else you can go."

I felt like Melanie in this situation.

"Yeah, sure!"

I took his hand, it was so warm, it made me wanna hug him but I restrained myself.

We walked into the Shay apartment, I saw Carly standing on the stage Spencer put up.

"If anybody wants to sing a song they wrote or say a few words about Sam you're welcome to." She looked around the room for a second and then continued,

"I wrote a song just before she died, she doesn't know I knew about her problem but I didn't think she would kill herself with it, her sister, Melanie said she was sorry that she couldn't make it."

I looked at Carly tears rolling down my cheeks,

"You want to talk to her don't you?" I heard Freddie whisper to me.

I nodded.

"Look what you're wearing," he told me.

I looked at him confused but looked at my appearance.

I looked exactly like Melanie!!

"B-but h-how d-did y-you?"

"Find out? Oh that was easy, when Carly needed me to drop off something at your house a few months ago."

"So?" I asked him, moving my arms as if to say, 'keep going!'

"Well, I saw both of you out the front, you walked inside but I gave the stuff to Melanie… then I ran away screaming like a girl."

I giggled.

He smiled, "I was a little shocked but I got over it…eventually."

"And… You've got until 12 to do what you want," He told me.

"Huh?!"

Suddenly there was a turn of heads and gasps,

"Sam?!"

I heard Carly say into the microphone,

I looked at Freddie shocked and pleading,

"Act like Melanie!" he whispered.

I nodded to him,

"No I'm not Sam, you sillies! It's me Melanie! Freddie brought me here!"

I felt so stupid acting like Melanie.

"Oh…" Carly said faintly.

I sighed,

"Um, Sam gave me this before she, uh, died, she told me to sing it to anybody whenever I had the chance. She wrote it when, uh, Carly was feeling down."

There was a gleam of hope in Carly's eyes as I walked up to the stage,

"You know they never buried her body, Sam's body is being held secretly somewhere," she whispered.

"Do you know where?" I asked her.

I needed to know where my body was, I had to "bring my soul back."

At least that's what my angel said…

She shook her head and I sighed.

"Here goes nothing!" I muttered.

I got out Carly's pink guitar and began to strum,

maybe my mom forcing me to go to guitar lessons with Melanie finally paid off,

I looked at Freddie then Carly, I opened my mouth and began to sing,

_

* * *

_

You're not alone

Together we stand

I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold

And it feels like the end

There's no place to go

You know I won't give in

No I won't give in

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away

I wish you were here

Before it's too late, this could all disappear

Before the doors close

And it comes to an end

With you by my side I will fight and defend

I'll fight and defend

Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe

Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da, da, da

La da, da, da

La da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on

Keep holding on

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through, ooh-ooh.

* * *

Everybody clapped, and I swore I saw Freddie cry, but I wasn't in the mood for blackmailing.

I should've sung my songs when I was alive…

I felt arms wrap around me as tears began to flow down my cheeks.

I sobbed into Freddie's shoulder

at least I was alive for now,

Freddie holding me safe in his arms.


	4. iMidnite

When I finally calmed down Freddie walked off,

I looked at him standing next to Carly.

It was pretty obvious that she liked him since she was basically throwing herself over him.

But what I was not extremely happy about was that Count Dorkula was flirting back!!

God how much I wanted to hurt him right now, but obviously my arm would go right through him…

Wait I'm alive at the moment…

YES!! I can finally hurt him!

But first I'm gonna go eat some ham, it's been a while...

I grabbed the whole plate of ham and then sat next to the bottle-bot.

"Hey guys here's a song I wrote for Sam and her problem," I looked at Carly who was on the stage holding a pink guitar in her hands.

"It's probably some song about me being dead so now her life is absolutely PERFECT!" I thought.

She strummed a sad soft tune with her guitar,

then she sung:

_

* * *

_

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty

_Is the face in the mirror looking back at you_

_You walk around here thinking you're not pretty_

_But that's not true, cause I know you..._

_Hold on, baby, you're losing it_

_The water's high, you're jumping into it_

_And letting go... and no one knows_

_That you cry, but you don't tell anyone_

_That you might not be the golden one_

_And you're tied together with a smile_

_But you're coming undone_

_I guess it's true that love was all you wanted_

_Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change_

_Hoping it will end up in his pocket_

_But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain_

_Oh, cause it's not his price to pay_

_Not his price to pay, ay…_

_Hold on, baby, you're losing it_

_The water's high, you're jumping into it_

_And letting go... and no one knows_

_That you cry, but you don't tell anyone_

_That you might not be the golden one_

_And you're tied together with a smile_

_But you're coming undone_

_Oh-Whoa-oah-oah._

_Oh-oh-oh._

_Hold on, baby, you're losing it_

_The water's high, you're jumping into it_

_And letting go... and no one knows_

_That you cry, but you don't tell anyone_

_That you might not be the golden one_

_And you're tied together with a smile_

_But you're coming undone_

_You're tied together with a smile_

_But you're coming undone... oh_

_Goodbye, baby_

_with a smile, baby, baby_

* * *

Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

I looked at Carly, her face flooded with tears.

"I miss you Sam, you were like my sister, and I wish you were still here…" she cried.

I watched as Spencer carried his sister off.

"Um, hey everyone," my eyes suddenly flashed to the stage.

"It's me Freddie, I uh wrote a song, it doesn't really matter much but it's about Sam," Freddie said.

"I guess I just really miss her, even if fighting was the only way to talk to her, she still meant a lot to me."

I smiled sadly; I guess he forgot that I was here.

"And I was gonna sing this song while Melanie was here but I think she left, anyway here…"

I lifted an eyebrow, I'm right here! I guess because it was dark he could see me, oh well…

He started strumming his guitar,

I seriously felt like screaming:

"WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND GUITARS?!"

But I let it pass.

**

* * *

**

Freddie's POV

I looked around the room she wasn't here,

coast is clear.

I stopped strumming the guitar and sighed.

I felt waiting eyes looking at me.

I remembered the last thing Sam said to me before she walked out the door:

"You might hate me but I don't hate you..."

I strummed again forcing the tears back.

I started to sing what I wrote 3 days after Sam died:

* * *

Looking at a picture of you in my hands

Wondering if I'm ever gonna see you again

_Without you I don't know how my life will be_

_But I believe_

_It's not goodbye_

_Cause I will remember you_

_And I will see you again_

_When I rise_

_Cause I know and I believe_

_I will see you in eternity_

_So close yet so far_

_But in my heart you're here with me_

_You did not leave_

_You just went to live in eternity_

_Without you I don't know how my life will be_

_But I believe_

_It's not goodbye_

_Cause I will remember you_

_And I will see you again_

_When I rise_

_Cause I know and I believe_

_I will see you in eternity_

_You will live in the light of the sun again_

_Dancing in the river of life and_

_Knowing that'll never end and forever by my side_

_I'll never have to say goodbye_

_Cause I will remember you_

_And I will see you again_

_When I rise_

_Cause I know and I believe_

_I will see you in eternity_

_It's not goodbye_

_Cause I will remember you_

_And I will see you again_

_When I rise_

_Cause I know and I believe_

_I will see you in eternity_

_I will see you in eternity_

* * *

I saw Sam standing in front of me smiling.

Then we heard the clock beeping.

"Midnight…" she whispered.

"Uh, Melanie and I have to leave; she uh has to go home! Yeah bye!" I said as I grabbed Sam's hand and ran out the door.

When we stopped she punched me, hard.

"What was that for?!" I shouted as I rubbed my shoulder.

"That was one of the things I had to do before I turned back into a ghost! And being Melanie has turned me into a sap!"

I chuckled, and she tried to hit me again,

only for her hand to go right through me.

"Ugh, at least I ate all of Carly's ham! And now I promise to all meats of the world I will never cry again!" she shouted to the skies.

"But did you mean it?" she asked me.

"Mean what?" I asked her.

"The words in the song?"

"Ugh yeah, I-I guess…"

"Oh, okay bye."

She left with a wave, and then she disappeared.

"I meant every word, Sammie. And I don't hate you, never did never will."

And then I walked inside.

**

* * *

**

Normal POV.

And if Freddie had looked through his peep hole a few seconds later,

He would have seen Sam dancing happily,

because the person she loved kinda loved her back.


	5. iAm invisible

Ugh, it's easier to write in song-fic, so I'll be doing that sometimes,

like right now!

Taylor Swift's Invisible

(I thought this was necessary you know with Sam being a ghost and all…)

_

* * *

_

She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile

She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by

And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her

But you are everything to me

* * *

I leant against the wall watching as Freddie walked with his nubby friends,

I THINK they were talking about the new Galaxy Wars movie,

but I wasn't really listening because I was watching Freddie smile.

Then I saw Carly walk by him, she waved at him but then turned back to Wendy,

I sighed and shook my head when I saw Freddie staring at her, he stopped talking.

He smiled at her and she didn't even notice,

but I did and how they lit up.

When no-one was looking Freddie gave me a small wave, I stuck my tongue out but waved back anyway.

I want him so much but I never show it, I'm a Puckett, and Puckett's don't do feelings not even Melanie,

And even though he is the only one who can see me, he can't see that I want him, Freddie's too busy wanting Carly.

He means everything to me…

_

* * *

_

And I just wanna show you

She don't even know you

She's never gonna love you like I want to

You just see right through me but if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible

* * *

"She's never gonna love you, you know that right…?" I asked him as we walked - well he walked I floated- to his house.

He just shrugged, "But at least she knows me."

I burst out laughing.

"Oh yeah she knows you so well, she wasn't the one who comforted you on the anniversary of your dad's death!"

"Yeah, so? I comforted you on the anniversary of YOUR dad's death too…"

"Well nub, when you and me first met SHE forgot your birthday! I was the one who planned the party! And how was I supposed to know your mom was a vegetarian?"

He rolled his eyes and unlocked the door.

That night I watched him sleep so peacefully.

"Why do you see right through me and through to her? We could be a beautiful miracle I wish I wasn't invisible…" I whispered to the night.

_

* * *

_

There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through

She's never gonna see the light

No matter what you do

And all I think about is how to make you think of me

And everything that we could be

* * *

"And then he threw it at the sleeping Hobo!" Freddie laughed.

I watch as Carly faked a smile and pretended to laugh,

I rolled my eyes and giggled at the joke.

Carly never really cared about Freddie.

Some times I visit her and see what she's up to,

She tells Missy that the only reason why she hung out with Freddie is coz I was there.

Like 'yay!' for me, she was honestly my best friend,

But she was just using Freddie, SELFISH!

"Have you ever thought of dating someone else? Someone… close… to you…?" I asked curiously.

"Um I dunno, yeah, maybe?" He replied confused obviously.

"Oh, okay…"

_

* * *

_

And I just wanna show you

She don't even know you

She's never gonna love you like I want to

You just see right through me but if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible

* * *

I woke up from another nightmare again…

I didn't even think that it was possible, turns out I was WRONG!

Heh… yeahhh…

It's always the same…

Me being alive and then Carly leaving me and Freddie taking her side…

GRR stupid me dying! Why did I kill myself again?

Oh, yeah Freddie told me he hated me… rriigghhtt…

STUPID INVISIBILITY!

_

* * *

_

Like shadows in a faded light

Oh we're Invisible

I just wanna look in your eyes and make you realize

* * *

I looked at the shadows on the wall…

Carly and Freddie were fighting.

Carly told Freddie it was all his fault that I died…

Like sure she is right but it was her fault for fighting with me in the first damned place!

I tried to catch his eye and make him realise it was MY mistake, not HIS fault…

He always goes back to her…

Sure I'm invisible but he can see me…

I guess the question is: Why?

_

* * *

_

I just wanna show you she don't even know you

Baby let me love you let me want you

You just see right through me

But if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible

* * *

"SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU SHE NEVER WILL! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FREAKIN' UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"BECAUSE SHE NEEDS ME MORE THAN YOU!"

My angry eyes started to shine with tears and his pace softened.

"You don't get it, I'm nothing to you… No matter what you say, I know I am…"

"But you aren't, Sam. I-I don't know how but you aren't…" he whispered, as i was walking away.

_

* * *

_

She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile

* * *

I watched him sleep at night reciting lyrics I heard yesterday:

"Once upon a time I was falling in love,

and now I'm only falling apart…"

I thought I saw Freddie open his eyes and look at me,

I don't think he did but if so he would see a rare sight:

A tear rolling down my cheek,

splashing on the window pane…


	6. iNotes

Okay, I know you're probably thinking 'OMG she's updating!' or 'Oh great she's back…' or '… huh?"

…Or maybe not.

I really do wanna continue this, I hate knowing it's just been left there in a corner all dusty with spider webs on it.

So all I'm asking right now is for ideas.

I'm gonna go back and re-write or re-continue most of the multi-chaps because at the moment I'm on summer holidays (Australia, mate), so please! Anything you wanna add, change, get rid of; knock yourself out!

Just send a review or pm me; I will be the happiest person in the whole damn UNIVERSE!

Thanks,  
~Melodia F.

PS. It's been like two years when I wrote most my multi-chapter stories and as a twelve year-old I was crap. Simple as that. I believe I've gotten better now that I'm 14, not by much but it's something. Again thank you so much! :)

Also could you please check my profile for my other stories which are on hiatus, just waiting to be renewed or rebooted. :)


End file.
